Asking for It
image credit: luke stephenson
This is the story of how I learned one of the most important business lessons in my life from Erin just in December of last year:
Once upon a time, there was a blogging conference. I asked Erin if she was going and if so, that I would go, too, so that we could finally meet. She said no. Bummer. But, I always seem to get phone calls from Erin that start with “Don’t be mad, but…” Apparently later that evening, Erin had emailed them to say that we’d be more than happy to speak as a keynote (without consulting me, of course). Long story short, they asked us to be panelists and at that point, how could I say no when I (apparently) already asked to speak?
At said conference not only did I have a blast, but I met a bunch of brand new friends and was also able to network with some high-profile bloggers that I’d wanted to meet for years. It also increased my visibility as the blogger behind Design Milk, which I hid behind for a long time. Needless to say, it was totally worth going, and I would have missed out had it not been for Erin’s ridiculous email.
Most of my life I’ve been fairly passive, letting things happen to me rather than making them happen. For the most part, I thought, “why would so-and-so want ME to do X or Y for them?” or “why would they want to talk to ME? “Who am I, I’m just some chick from New Jersey — who cares?” If you have said similar things to yourself about you, your work, your blog, your shop, or whatever it is that you do, then it’s time to learn the very same lesson that I learned late last year.
Erin always says I’m the smart one, but she’s got it all wrong. Erin makes things happen. She asks for stuff I wouldn’t even dream of, often times getting more than she wanted. So, I’d say Erin’s the genius – I wouldn’t be where I am now if she didn’t have the balls to ask for it.
Here’s the takeaway: Don’t ever think “who am I” or “why would Martha Stewart/Oprah/The Today Show/whoever want to hear about my product/art/shop?” — the truth is, they DO want to hear about it. You just have to show it to them.
You know, anyone Erin loves must be pretty special and I am so glad to be over here reading this lovely tribute. She is incredibly special isn’t she? But, obviously so are you and I am so glad you had such a great experience. I was due to go & speak at alt too and couldn’t go but, I so wish I could have. It would have been lovely to meet you and you are right. From one Jersey chick to another…you just have to show them. Thank you for the reminder and the inspiration.
xo
Melis
i must adore the heck out of you two. my eyes are all misty at this one…
i liked this. very much. well done. xo
Aw Karey you are so cute!
Jaime, I think you and I are kindred spirits. I’ve always been very passive like that as well – not necessarily making things happen, but just taking opportunities as they came, and being surprised when people asked. I’m hoping I can change that and begin to develop a belief in myself and my abilities. I’d love to start making things happen in my life!
I’m still kicking myself for missing out on Alt. Sure, there’s next year, but this first one just seemed magical. I’m glad you were able to go and glean so much from it, though! I can just hope to absorb a little of that through your posts.
a friend passed on to me similar advice years ago. she had attended a “women in leadership” workshop and the guy (yes, guy) teaching it said, “one of the biggest keys to my success has been these words: is that your best offer?” that sounded a bit greedy to me, but my friend said his point was that it never hurts to ask for whatever it is you want. very rarely do things get handed to you, and the worst that could happen is that people say no (and that’s not even that bad).
Dude. I could have written this. For the longest time, I had a “who wants to hear from little ol’ me” attitude, but I’ve been breaking away from that lately. And I’m so glad that you (both of you!) went, because it was so great to meet you!
(p.s. I was on a panel because I was brave and asked.)
Good for you Nicole! And I was so glad to have met you as well
I just came across your amazing blog…and boy am I glad I did. I can’t even tell you how many times in like the past week I have said things like that to myself! Thanks for letting me know that I’m not alone and that you’re right, you have to put yourself out there
! I’m so glad I found you guys!!
You two are so great!! Looking forward to meeting you both sooner than later.
)
Yes- very inspiring-It rings so true and it reminds me of the ‘inner’ things I have to deal with daily…Thank you for being so open and honest about this- I have only recently found this blog and I am glad I did-
Annamaria
You wrote this especially for me didn’t you?
Thank you.